Enjoying the Nectar

-
Enjoying the Nectar

We used to have a humming bird feeder on our deck.  A particular hummingbird decided that it was his personal feeder.  He would hover over it and if any other hummingbirds came close, he would chase them off.  He didn’t really have time to enjoy the nectar.  He was too busy making sure nobody else enjoyed the nectar.   

Mom, especially as her Alzheimer’s progressed, lived her life like the hummingbird.  She would watch her neighbors suspiciously through the front window trying to catch them in the act of theft or vandalism rather than greeting them with a kind word.  She would stand on her deck with a broom so that she could chase away birds before they pooped on her property, rather than enjoy the color and music they contributed to her view.    

After she was moved to a memory care facility, a day that I’m sure her neighbors celebrated, we began clearing out her home in order to sell it.  We found jewelry and money in her valances.  Her favorite turquoise dress was wrapped in a paper bag inside the freezer.  Gifts we had given her over the years-unopened high thread count sheets and cushy memory foam house shoes were hidden in nooks and crannies throughout the house.  She would only use the old scratchy sheets and uncomfortable house shoes.    

She never took time to enjoy the nectar.

I know that is part of her disease and she can't help it, but I pray that I can enjoy each day of the rest of my life.  That I not waste my time  with fretting and hoarding and chasing off others.  

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 14, 2019 at 7:30 AM

    My mom to a T. who knew there were 2 of them. She is in the early stages of vascular dementia. Thank you so much for writing this. Everyone wants to talk about "how sweet my mom is" I have no clue about the person they are talking about.

    ReplyDelete
  2. LewisJuly 4, 2019 at 11:12 AM

    As we continue practicing the presence of God, our enjoyment of life ripples outward from the present, healing our pasts and providing hope of the future.koktale

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

-
Turning Sorrow into Joy Around the same time that my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, my toddler grandson moved in with us for awhile.      I rejoiced as Tyler learned to speak and increased his vocabulary.   But I was saddened when my mother struggled to remember words and names.   As Tyler advanced from baby mobiles to building blocks, my mother could no longer figure out how to dial a telephone.   Tyler loved to pretend that he was driving our car.   Mom was turning over the keys to us, knowing she would never drive again.   My husband and I would shop for educational but fun items that would challenge Tyler and stimulate his brain as he grew.   At the same time we would shop for Mom, trying to find items that would simplify her life, such as remotes and telephones with the fewest number of buttons possible.   Having Tyler with us at this difficult time was a Godsend.   It helped me come to terms with the fact that although I was facing a progres
Read more

Alzheimer's Bingo

-
Alzheimer's Bingo While visiting Mom today I decided to join the other Alzheimer’s residents for a game of Bingo. It went something like this: Bingo Caller: B9. Gertrude: Did you say D9? Other players start frantically looking for D9 on their cards. Mabel: No, she said B9. Gertrude: (sounding garbled): What??? Mabel: (Shouting) B9! B9! Bingo Caller: Gertie, did you put your hearing aids in your mouth again? Gertrude (still garbled): Huh?? Bingo Caller: Spit them out, please. Mabel: Shit them out? That could take days! Bingo Caller: sigh... Mom: What are we doing? Me: Playing Bingo. Amy, the aide, sticks her hand out and Gertie obediently spits out the hearing aids. Amy dries them with a towel and puts them back in Gertie’s ears. All the ladies look around in confusion wondering what is holding up the game. Bingo Caller: Ok, next number is N43. Mabel points at Margaret's card, rolls her eyes and announces in a superior tone: You
Read more
-
Any Special Requests? Just an FYI:   When performing for a roomful of Alzheimer’s patients, it may not be wise to ask for song requests from the audience.   Not unless you want to hear the same song over and over!   A well-known local band visited Mom's memory care facility as a special treat.   As soon as they played one re quested song another member of the audience would ask for the same song again!  And each time, all the residents would nod their head approvingly at the suggestion!  As though they hadn't just heard the song over and over!  I was pleasantly s urprised that Margaritaville and Hotel California were the two requested tunes.  But now I cannot get either of them out of my head.
Read more