Alzheimer's Can Be a Selfish Disease
Alzheimer’s can be a selfish disease. That doesn’t mean your loved one suffering
from Alzheimer’s is a selfish person, at least not intentionally. But it affects the lives of those around them
in selfish ways.
When Dad passed away, we were unable to notify some of our
relatives in another state about his funeral.
Prior to his death, Mom had delusions that he was seeing certain female
family members behind her back even though it was impossible unless he had a
time machine. So my sisters and I had to
make the difficult decision not to notify them about the funeral, not even his
death, until after the fact. We wanted
Dad’s funeral to be dignified. We didn’t
want this difficult day to be tainted by Mom’s rants, false accusations and
malicious glares. We took the easy way
out.
What made it even more difficult was that afterwards we
couldn’t even tell them the reason they were excluded. We were afraid they might not
understand. They might call Mom to
confront her or defend themselves. Only
after Mom’s Alzheimer’s progressed to the point where she didn’t remember what
she accused Dad of doing, in fact she barely remembered Dad, were we able to
contact them and beg forgiveness.
There are still hurt feelings but honestly I don’t see how
we could have handled it differently without tainting our memory of Dad’s
funeral. I’m sorry.
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